Snakes and Ladders

Trees Removed To Build Ark!

Bad news for some! Chief Snake leads the Snakers Song! Only Joking! Leylandii hazard removed!! Weary trudge! Perfect approach by Martin

After two Sundays lost to torrential rain, the Spring Snakes resumed at the Glamorganshire in a slightly abbreviated format with three holes closed. Buggies and trolleys continued to be banned for protection of the course, but, in the light of Saturday’s rugby results, there was a dispensation for those whose origins are east of Offa’s Dyke to use low-swinging chariots for the day! Despite the weather, some course maintenance has taken place in recent weeks, particularly in respect of the Leylandii which guarded the route to the 17th Green. Theoretically, this should make life easier for the higher handicappers, but the reality was that many found themselves in their usual place, but behind neatly stacked wood piles, instead of foliage or at the base of trees.

On the course, the hole closures necessitated some last-minute re-arrangements, and a message was posted on the Club Answer Phone at 7:30 confirming that the Snakes would be played. By 8:15 Assistant Professional, Peter Hunt was so concerned by the apparent lack of numbers that he sent out a text reminder. Despite this, a few golfers wrongly assumed that the course would be closed for a third Sunday. Please check gentlemen, as a no-show generally lets down both your opponents and your partner. In the context of this problem Dave Gooding put in the star performance of the day. With his partner James Rainbird enjoying a lie-in. Dave had to give 25 shots to his opposition Dave Stephens and Greg Morgan, but still won 3 and 2!

Air shots were recorded by Tony Stephens on the 11th, and Maurice Flynn on the 16th. Maurice remarked “I haven’t had an air shot for ages”, only for Mike Hennessey to respond, “That’s because we haven’t played for weeks!” Mike Hooper is one of the more tonsorially challenged members of our club, and was taken to task by someone waiting for the hairdryer, with the cruel put down, “Hurry up, it’s for hair not skin!” The Chief Snake presided over the speeches, with his usual aplomb, and once again, Gwyn Griffiths’ anticipation of collecting a bottle of Scotch in the raffle was cruelly dashed with a resounding chorus of “Only joking!” at the critical moment.

Jammy finally gave us an update on the progress of the “Fat Club”. This runs in tandem with the Snakes and the dozen or so members vie with each other to lose the most weight. Like the Snakes there can be heated arguments, except that body mass replaces handicaps. Smaller “Fat Club” members argue that it’s easier to lose a lot of weight if you’re bigger, and that the winner should be determined by greatest percentage loss.  So far they have collectively lost over seven stone; with former Cardiff RFC back row forward Bob Lakin leading the way. Like the Snakes, however, it’s far too early to call the winner. Phil Harris clearly doesn’t grasp the concept, as he has managed to put on weight!


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