Spring Snakes – Last Week

Snakes and Ladders Week Ten

Week Ten, the finale of the Glamorganshire Snakes and Ladders spring competition teed off in dry but cold conditions on Sunday, with lots to play for at both the top and bottom of the table. Only one undefeated pair remained and at the bottom of the table only one pairing had yet to break their duck. On Week Ten those in pole positions as overall winners and Wooden Spoonists are required to play the full eighteen holes and also to mark a Stableford card to possibly determine the worst players.

At the top, much-fancied pair, John Letton and Gwyn Griffiths lost out to Ian Dodd and Martin Davies, allowing Phil Harris and Nigel Jones to clinch the winner’s spot by dint of an impressive Stableford score. Phil and Nigel will face Peter Docherty and Dan Bird, who won the autumn competition in a play-off for overall Snakes winners on Sunday 17th March.

Snakes Winners

Elsewhere on the course, no air shots were recorded, but Stephen Greenslade is alleged to have shanked a putt on the 9th, and Bob Lakin was mystified to suddenly find himself without a partner on the 18th. It transpired that Hankie had not been spirited away by aliens, but had been obliged to answer a call of nature! Ricky Buchalter sensibly left his car at the club after a few drinks, but didn’t realise that his clubs were still in the boot and spent all week looking for them. Further misfortune dogged Porky, who produced a backward chip at the 17th, and Phil Cunningham who struggled to extricate his foot from the grill of the golf shoe blower. Shot of the day belonged to Andrew Scott, who managed a gross 2 “eagle”, net “albatross” from fully 150 yards on the par 4 sixth hole.

Andrew having just posted a net albatross

At the bottom of the table four pairings would seem to be in contention for the Wooden Spoon, all of whom have managed a solitary win. The Chief Snake may determine the Spoonists by the Stableford Cards returned, or not! He may even use his discretionary power to award the Spoon to whichever pairing he deems to be most deserving, so other hackers at the bottom are also kept in suspense until the Snakes Supper. This takes place on Friday 22nd March and Snakers are urged to confirm their availability as soon as possible.

Snakes Week Nine

Week Nine of the Glamorganshire Snakes and Ladders competition teed off in dry but cold conditions on Sunday, with the mid-morning sunshine promised by Derek Brockway conspicuous by its absence. As previously reported, the last unbeaten pairings clashed at the top of the table, and John Letton and Gwyn Griffiths prevailed over Peter Edmunds and Mike Desmond. Porky was heard to grumble that if the tree on the 17th hadn’t been cut down, then they wouldn’t have been able to chip out of there and win the hole. Not so much clutching at straws, but leylandii! Before a ball was hit in anger, Wayfarer’s Captain, Paul Brown spent a fruitless ten minutes hammering away at his locker, and threatening to complain to anyone who would listen, until a kindly soul pointed out that his locker was the next one along! Dave Hancock informed partner Bob Lakin that he felt that this was definitely the day for his 3-wood and they went on to lose 5 and 4!

Elsewhere on the course, the Chief Snake and Captain were astounded when Stewart Humphries drove off the 12th, and emitted an ear-piercing Tarzan-like scream. When questioned regarding the ape-like noise he responded, ‘I couldn’t remember the word!’ Phil Cunningham’s tee shot at the 16th was fortunate not to end up in Penarth Cemetery, only for partner, Dave Halliday to nonchalantly chip out of the ivy with very limited backswing and into the hole for a par on 16th! Graham Prothero also managed to chip in a wayward tee-shot from 35 yards on the 10th for a birdie. Graham’s partner, Stuart Braggins, is clearly not content with the number of trees which have disappeared as part of the course management programme, as he lopped branches adjacent to the 11th.  Jim Borland substituted and was delighted to break his Snakes duck, posting a first win after the trauma of the Wooden Spoon in the Autumn Snakes.

Regarding the “Spoon”, Malcolm House and Tony Stevens posted their first win. This leaves previous winner, Paul Mantle and his partner Martin Best propping up the table, and hoping that a win against Nicksie and Mike Jones next week will save them from the ignominy of the “Wooden Spoon”. They, at least, will be in good company, since at least another five pairings will be required to play the full eighteen holes next week and also to mark a Stableford card to possibly determine the worst players. Even if this is clear cut, the Chief Snake still has the discretionary power to award the Spoon to whichever pairing he deems to be most deserving, so hackers at the bottom are kept in suspense until the Snakes Supper. This takes place on Friday 22nd March and Snakers are urged to confirm their availability as soon as possible. Prior to that, on Sunday 17th, the play-off for overall Snakes winner will take place, with the winners of the Spring Snakes playing Peter Docherty and Dan Bird, who won the autumn competition.

Snakes’ Super Subs Set Standard!

Snakers enjoyed dry but cold conditions at the Glamorganshire Golf Club for Week Eight of the Snakes and Ladders competition. With so many members succumbing to other sporting temptations this weekend in Rome, and at Wembley, substitutes were very much in evidence.

Peter Chaffey sinks a winner on the 18th Peter Parker with a fine tee shot at the 5th Laying up on the 5th

Super subs included Mike Hennessey for Bob Bubbins who was Stateside. Mike was looking forward to a evenly contested round of golf, but, unfortunately found himself “outsubbed” by Goggsy who pulled in former Club Champion, Nick Grimmett! Mike’s equilibrium wasn’t helped by partner Nigel Swaine’s new hairstyle, described by a secret admirer as a fetching shade of Blueberry Crush, and their combined four out of the bunker on the par 3 second hole.

 

As reported last week, something had to give at either end of the table, and Porky and Mike Desmond prevailed over John Redknap and Richie Collins, and meet John Letton and Gwyn Griffiths next week to determine the last unbeaten pairing. John was alleged to have gone home sulking, and another who left early was Nigel Jones, but he did have the excuse that his drive at the eighteenth hit the Captain’s car, and he felt it unnecessary to hang about for either inquest or bill! At the bottom, “Big Al” and “Billy Spar” finally broke their duck, leaving Tony Stevens and Malcolm House to do battle with Paul Mantle and Martin Best next week, after which the losing pair will need to start writing their “Wooden Spoon” speech, if they haven’t already prepared a draft copy! Elsewhere on the course Ken Jones managed to propel his ball all of a foot off the tee, only to be bettered by Mike Jones’ 6 inch effort later. James Rainbird managed an air shot on the 15th, and Peter Docherty laughed so much at his opponent’s air shot, that he putted out of turn and lost the hole! Tom Parkinson was let down by his partner, Simeon Howell, who didn’t turn up, and couldn’t be contacted. Tom still received 3 shots but it was insufficient to avoid a 6 and 4 defeat.

 

Substitution continued to be the theme of the day in the clubhouse, with Nicksy filling in for the Chief Snake, and insisting that a new Greens’ Committee was reported to be transferring from the Cliff Tops as a result of the Leylandii cull of recent times. Apparently, the delay in assuming office is because they can’t decide where to re-plant the solitary tree that has managed thus far to avoid destruction! Nicksy endeared himself to the assembly, by referring to Wales’ Roman success, but chanced his luck through having the temerity to lead a chorus of “Swing Low Sweet Chariot”. This roused the majority of Snakers to leave our English friends in no doubt as to what to do with the aforesaid chariots, although I fear that the melodic suggestion would prove to be anatomically impossible as well as painful and unsightly!