Snakers enjoyed dry but cold conditions at the Glamorganshire Golf Club for Week Eight of the Snakes and Ladders competition. With so many members succumbing to other sporting temptations this weekend in Rome, and at Wembley, substitutes were very much in evidence.
Super subs included Mike Hennessey for Bob Bubbins who was Stateside. Mike was looking forward to a evenly contested round of golf, but, unfortunately found himself “outsubbed” by Goggsy who pulled in former Club Champion, Nick Grimmett! Mike’s equilibrium wasn’t helped by partner Nigel Swaine’s new hairstyle, described by a secret admirer as a fetching shade of Blueberry Crush, and their combined four out of the bunker on the par 3 second hole.
As reported last week, something had to give at either end of the table, and Porky and Mike Desmond prevailed over John Redknap and Richie Collins, and meet John Letton and Gwyn Griffiths next week to determine the last unbeaten pairing. John was alleged to have gone home sulking, and another who left early was Nigel Jones, but he did have the excuse that his drive at the eighteenth hit the Captain’s car, and he felt it unnecessary to hang about for either inquest or bill! At the bottom, “Big Al” and “Billy Spar” finally broke their duck, leaving Tony Stevens and Malcolm House to do battle with Paul Mantle and Martin Best next week, after which the losing pair will need to start writing their “Wooden Spoon” speech, if they haven’t already prepared a draft copy! Elsewhere on the course Ken Jones managed to propel his ball all of a foot off the tee, only to be bettered by Mike Jones’ 6 inch effort later. James Rainbird managed an air shot on the 15th, and Peter Docherty laughed so much at his opponent’s air shot, that he putted out of turn and lost the hole! Tom Parkinson was let down by his partner, Simeon Howell, who didn’t turn up, and couldn’t be contacted. Tom still received 3 shots but it was insufficient to avoid a 6 and 4 defeat.
Substitution continued to be the theme of the day in the clubhouse, with Nicksy filling in for the Chief Snake, and insisting that a new Greens’ Committee was reported to be transferring from the Cliff Tops as a result of the Leylandii cull of recent times. Apparently, the delay in assuming office is because they can’t decide where to re-plant the solitary tree that has managed thus far to avoid destruction! Nicksy endeared himself to the assembly, by referring to Wales’ Roman success, but chanced his luck through having the temerity to lead a chorus of “Swing Low Sweet Chariot”. This roused the majority of Snakers to leave our English friends in no doubt as to what to do with the aforesaid chariots, although I fear that the melodic suggestion would prove to be anatomically impossible as well as painful and unsightly!